♫All I Have Is Christ♫

We sang this song during worship this morning... and the lyrics were amazing! I really got choked up as we were singing. I love the part when it says "And if You had not loved me first, I would refuse You still". WOW!!! Really the whole song is amazing!!! Isn't He so good?!

♫I once was lost in darkest night

Yet thought I knew the way
The sin that promised joy and life
Had led me to the grave
I had no hope that You would own
A rebel to Your will
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still

But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace

Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life

Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me
Oh Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You

By Jordan Kauflin

What is God's direction?

Hey blog readers,
Please keep me in your prayers!!! I'm very lost at the moment!
Last week, my dad had a talk with me. About life. I told him I was not sure if I wanted to go to college.... He challenged me, that if I'm not going to college, I need to get a "plan" together. What I'm going to do instead....

Life is so hard! I've been praying... LOTS, that God would make the plan He has for me at this moment clear. One thing keeps coming up... but I'm trying to be careful about it. Making sure it's not my heart telling me this... because as some of you know... my heart has been wrong before! And it was really neat, last week my mom shared with me that scripture says "the heart is deceitful above all else!" I can totally relate!

But please pray for me! I'm not exactly sure what He has for me. Whether I don't go to college or I do. If so, where do I go? Do I go away or stay here? Do I move back to VA? I don't want to... but is that His plan for me? Also, my desire is to get married young... but is that His plan? Or, is it something else...?
He has a plan for me!!! He says so in His Word! Jeremiah 29:11. It's time for that next step! =)

Change of plans?...

Life is hard! I'm learning that more and more, day by day. As a kid, you dream of when you are an adult, life will be so easy. HAHA NOT! I'm a planner! So, even in high school... I had my college life planned out! I was told I would get a basketball scholarship... I was hoping to go to UVA, get a business or sports related degree... get married after college, and start a family.
Things started changing right before I started my senior year of high school. Things came up, and I ended up not playing basketball my last year. I had looked forward to playing senior year my whole basketball "career"! To me... that... was... BIG! To be announced as a starting senior before a game was, ah, just to cool! Because of this, I was so stressed out, I got physically ill. Was not trusting God with it at all!
Fall of 2008, my parents began to talk about moving back to Pensacola, Florida. Moving back was never apart of my plan in life! I never wanted to move back here! So, when my parents said they were moving... I was planning on staying and living with my grandparents (which I had been doing 3 days a week already). God once again changed my plans!
Clearly I am here in P'cola... and I am so glad I moved.
But once again, God is changing my plans. At the end of January, I was really praying about what God wanted me to do in college. Doing Liberty University Online, and get a accounting degree was clear.
The last 2 weeks though, I have been uneasy about it all. Is God's plan for me to really go to college... at all?
Also... God has put it on my heart to be a wife and a mother. And I know some moms who went to college, got married, started having kids, never used their college degree... and are still paying for the loans. I'm not 100% sure I will get married... or even when... but it's just a thought....
Please pray for me! I'm feeling very lost in this area. Along with the pressure of everyone asking, "So what are you wanting to do in college?" That's not what life is about, right... to go to college?
As well as, pray that God would give me wisdom! What I need to do right now... what is His plan for me?

Starbucks-aholic

As most of you know (if not all) I love coffee... in particular, Starbucks Coffee. There has only been one drink from this company that I cannot drink! (the Pumpkin Spice Latte if you must know.) But my all time favorite is the classic Mocha Frappuccino. Mmmm, so good! =)

Well, the reason for this post, is not to go on and on about what I love. But to ask yall to pray for me!!!
Wednesday night we had care group, and we were talking about what we are passionate about. My dad was talking about how C.J. Mahaney had mentioned in a message that if he had 30 minutes to look at your check book, he could tell you what you are passionate about. Whether it be shoes, music, sports, etc. During the meeting, I was very convicted... just thinking to myself "what do I spend the most money on?" It did not take long till I thought Starbucks!
This week  alone I have bought 2 Mocha Fraps! And they are now $5! NOT FAIR! But do the math! haha That's $10 I have spent on coffee! Sooooo, I have concluded that I am going to buy one a month (if that!). Now that is not one drink a month... if ya want to get me a drink, please feel free! heehee ;) But that is me buying one! Please pray for me! It's so easy to run in to a Starbucks and get a drink. And it does not help that there is one in our Target... or that others have drive-thru!
It really get's ya thinking... "What am I passionate about?" There is always something you have a passion for. I wish I could say for myself it was the gospel... the Good News! But I hate to say it isn't!
Pray that I would have self control in this area... and God would use this to help me grow more passionate about the gospel, and not a silly coffee drink! As well as keeping me accountable! =)

The Evil Mr. Roach

Soooooooo, Wednesday night we had small group (which was very good and very convicting!) And when I got home, a friend of mine started chatting with me. (You know who you are! ;) It was a great chat!!!) Buuuuuut, as we were talking, about something rather important, a roach comes out from under my bed, and freaks me out!!!! I scream as loud as I can and freeze. (And this story is not made up either! Ask my family!) I'm not lying!!! I froze! I could not bring myself to grabbing a flip flop (which I have many!) and killing this thing! I couldn't! Josh comes running in asking what happened. I told him there was a roach... and he left! I was telling the friend everything that was happening! haha They said they could come over and kill it for me, because my brother was not willing to. (Honestly I think he was scared of it too! haha)
Seeing how I was unable to move and shaking at the sight of a roach less than 5 feet away from me, was told to stop screaming... dad was trying to sleep, and my own, over 6 feet tall brother was not going to kill it for me, I was left with no choice! (heehee) No, I asked the friend to get my mind of the roach, and he did! (Thanks, Mark! ;) ) haha Till we got off at 2:30 (sadly =( ) and I turned to face the floor from once the thing ran. After a few minutes, I finally brought myself together and took one step on the hard wood floor, and ran for my brother. He then came back in my room once more and helped me move everything! And when I say everything... I mean everything! haha
By 3:30am, my room looked like a tornado came through it, I was about to pass out of exhaustion, he was feeling like he was going to pass out because of his blood sugar, and the roach was no where to be found.
I ended up sleeping on the couch for 4 hours... 'cause I could sleep no more with smell of coffee brewing, and the noise of dad leaving for work. =( And I did tell myself the roach was GONE! haha
Well, the bright side! I did "spring cleaning" and threw a lot away! Woo hoo! I'm weird... I know!

Don't Waste It!

At the moment, I am reading "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper. I have finally gotten past the first chapter!!! haha As I was starting to read the second, I prayed that I could understand Piper (because every book I have EVER read of his goes right over my head!) God really helped me!!! It was very cool!!! I understood! But there was a paragraph that really stood out to me. Here it is...

"God created me--and you--to live with a single, all-embracing, all-transforming passion-namely, a passion to glorify God by enjoying and displaying his supreme excellence in all the spheres of life. Enjoying and displaying are both crucial. If we try to display the excellence of God without joy in it, we will display a shell of hypocrisy and create scorn or legalism. But if we claim to enjoy his excellence and do not display it for others to see and admire, we deceive ourselves, because the mark of God-enthralled joy is to overflow and expand by extending itself into the hearts of others. The wasted life is the life without a passion for the supremacy of God in all things for the joy of all peoples."

WOW! Well said Piper!!! =)

Robin Hood

So yesterday, Mark and I were talking at church... and he said he was going to see Robin Hood, and invited us to go with. I talked to my dad and he said sure, that we would try to make it. We still had 40 minutes to make it back home, drop off mom, Diego and Lili, unload the van, and turn right back around. But someone in our family (cough Kelsey cough) did not want to leave mom alone. (SHE DOES THIS EVERY TIME! Don't know what's going to happen when she get's married! haha) So we get there... around 10 minutes before it's starts... Mark saved us seats... dad get's up to the ticket booth... AND THEY ARE SOLD OUT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! =( He ended up getting tickets for a later showing, but I really wanted to see it with Mark!
So we ended up going to Guitar Center (whip-de-do! NOT! haha). Kelsey, dad and Josh were drolling! haha... Me on the other hand, well let's just say that only thing about music I know is my iPod and Guitar Hero. haha But the 3 of us were talking, and when the 3 of us get talking... we have some very weird conversations! haha Kelsey was talking about how Guitar Center is her heaven... Josh said his is Bass Pro Shop... and mine is Dick's Sporting Goods! haha... it's amazing, how we all come from the same family, but are so different!
Well, it was time for us to be heading over to Rave, and when we did, we were the first in the theater!!! Got seats right in the middle!!! It was sweet! =D
The movie was really good, I thought! My family on the other hand thought it was to slow. Yes, it was slow, but it had some humor, pretty good action scenes (wish there was a little more), a great love story on how Robin and Marian meet, and Russlle Crowe!!!! haha But it wasn't your typically Robin Hood story... and that's all I'll say! haha You'll have to see it for yourself!

15 minutes after we get out, Mark texted me. Come to find out... HE SAT BY HIMSELF! I felt soooooooooo bad! =( But he was very sweet about it, and said he was glad we got to see it. =) I guess there are lots more movies we can try to see together!

(In my last blog, I did movie review, and I would like to do that again! So here is #1! =))

♫As Long As You Are Glorified♫

This is an amazing song from the Sovereign Grace cd "Come Weary Saints".
How many times do I praise Him who created me in times of plenty... but not in times of drought? In EVERYTHING I do, I hope I glorify Him!!!

♫Shall I take from Your hand Your blessings

Yet not welcome any pain

Shall I thank You for days of sunshine

Yet grumble in days of rain

Shall I love You in times of plenty

Then leave You in days of drought

Shall I trust when I reap a harvest

But when winter winds blow, then doubt

Oh let Your will be done in me

In Your love I will abide

Oh I long for nothing else as long

As You are glorified

Are You good only when I prosper

And true only when I’m filled

Are You King only when I’m carefree

And God only when I’m well

You are good when I’m poor and needy

You are true when I’m parched and dry

You still reign in the deepest valley

You’re still God in the darkest night

Written by Mark Altrogge

"Better Than I Deserve"

So I have FINALLY finished "The Cross Centered Life" by C.J. Mahaney. I have lost count how many times I have started reading that book, and have never finished. I started reading it again at the end of December... and today, I finished it! haha (I am a slow reader at times!)

It is a short book, seven chapters... and it is written by one of my favorite writers. Very easy to read! I would encourage you to read it!

But as I was reading the last chapter, I came to the section named "Better Than I Deserve". Growing up in a Sovereign Grace church, I have grown up with this saying all my life! I love it! And I have always wanted to say it to people, but always forget!

This is what C.J. Mahaney has to say about it in the book,
"Ask me how I'm doing on any given day and you might be surprised by my response. I don't give the typical "I'm doing great" or "Fine, thanks!" Instead I say, "Better than I deserve." It catches people off guard. Many times non-Christians have argued with me, convinced that I suffer from low self-esteem.
But no -- I just understand who I am and where I deserve to be. I deserve God's wrath. Honestly, I deserve to be in hell. But instead I'm God's child. I'm forgiven and loved by Him. I'm going to heaven. I'm doing much better than I deserve!
That perspective fills me with joy even on days when things aren't going as I planned. We all face disappointments and difficult circumstances. Some of us experience deep pain and loss. But regardless of the situation, understanding the gospel lets us marvel at God's love."

Short story... but when I started to read this again in December, a friend started chatting with me on Gmail. They asked how I was doing, and I replied, "Better than I deserve!" After a few seconds, they responded with asking what I meant by that. I simply told them, I don't deserve to be forgiven! I deserve the wrath of God... and deserve to be sent to hell. But by the grace of God, He sent His Son to die in my place! That friend did argue with me, and told me that I probably should not go around telling people that. I am ashamed now that I listened to them!

So go ahead! Ask me today... how am I doing? I'm doing better than I deserve! =)

His Blood

I know I just posted... but both of these things have been on my mind to share. So I am! =)

We have often (well I know I have, since I grew up in a Sovereign Grace church!) heard people talk about Jesus dying for us. Heard people use the terms, His blood washed away our sins. Heard it in songs time and time again. But have you ever stopped to think about that? I think for people like me, who have grown up in the church all their lives, sometimes don't really stop to think about things such as this.
Yesterday, I was reading "When Sinners Say 'I Do'" since our church is going through it together. (Which is a great book! And I will post soon on what I think about that! haha) But in the first chapter Dave Harvey is talking about our sin, the gospel, and marriage (haha)... . And at one part he says, "There really is no end to the glories of the gospel, which is why we will spend eternity marveling that the Holy God would choose to crush his only Son for the sake of sinful man. The gospel explains our most obvious and basic problem - sin has separated us from God and from each other. Thus we are objects of God's wrath. A Christian understands the necessity of the cross; our sin was so bad it required blood, the blood of God, to take it away! Without the cross we are at war with God, and he is at war with us."
I have heard this a thousand times... over and over and over again! But for some reason reading that one paragraph... it made more since than any other time!!! WOW! I almost started crying when I read it.... My sin was sooooo bad it required blood. Christ's blood! I'm chocked up just typing it! HOW AMAZING!!!!!! =)

♫It Was Your Grace♫

This is a great song!!! And at the moment it really means a lot to me.
The end of the 2009 and the start of 2010 some of you know I was going through something I had never gone through in my life before. Something that was very exciting! I was trusting my Heavenly Father... but not like how I should have been. And at the end of January... He took it away. February I must say I was kinda going through depression. I was not wanting to leave the house... or talk to anyone! BUT GOD! (I love that! haha) By His Grace... March rolled around... and I began to see this was His will being done... for my good! He thought me that even through something hard like what I was going through... I can praise Him in the storm! And I did! It was very hard at first I'm not going to lie. But man! God is good! I see now that He used this situation for me to draw closer to Him! And I have not felt this happy/joyful in years!
Recently, He has even brought it to my attention, that one week before the end of January, I was feeling very lost. I was not wanting to be at the church we were at... I still did not have a job... I still was unsure where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do in school... and unsure what God had for this situation I was in. I spent sometime in prayer that night... that God would make the choices I need to make clear... and asked that my time with this one thing not be wasted if it was not His plan. One week to that day... He took it away. And since then as well, we have found a new, wonderful church... I now know where I want to go/what I want to do in college... and I have a wonderful job that I love! I now remember that night, and the prayer I prayed! And it shows me, He is taking care of me! HE IS GOOD!
I love the part in the song where it says, "And You stripped me of everything I would depend on, so I'd depend on You". WOW! That is exactly what He did!!!! I am so amazed that He can take something so hard... and turn it into somethings that is so good!!! All I can say is, He is so good!!!! =)

♫It was Your grace that drew me to the cross

It was Your grace that gave me faith

It was Your grace that reconciled me to Yourself

Though I had sinned in every way

You disarmed me of everything that I would lean on

So I would lean on You

And You stripped me of everything I would depend on

So I’d depend on You

In You alone my strength is found

In You alone my hope abounds

In You alone my strength is found

My life is bound up in You

And in my weakness give me still more grace

Grace to cast myself on You

In every trial let me find Your peace and joy

And grace to humbly walk with You

O disarm me of everything that I would lean on

So I will lean on You

Jesus, strip me of everything I would depend on

So I’ll depend on You

Give me more grace

Give me more grace

And new mercies every morning

Give me new mercies

On the Sovereign Grace cd, Valley of Vision
Written by Mark Altrogge

April update... well, the end of April update! haha =)

Hey friends,
Here is another update. I'm trying to stay more on top of it. When I started it back in February 2009, I said I was going to try to update once a week. Well... two things... some weeks I had nothing to update on, life was the same... and it was a little much trying to update every week. So now I am going to try to update the first week of every month about the previous month. I'm hoping this will work better! haha

Ok, well since I just updated two weeks ago... this one is going to be a little short.
But since then... nothing has really happened. Kelsey and I house-sat again for some friends of ours. We had great sister time! We... well I should say I... watched a lot of basketball, since it's the Playoffs. =) Kel loves to play... but does not like to watch it on TV. SHAME ON HER! jk So some nights I had to suffer and watch movies instead of the Lakers game... but it was ok. Thanks to Mark... he texted me the scores! haha =) During one of the Lakers games... it was the 4th quarter and Lakers were up, they decide to put Luke Walton in. He had not been in the whole game, and was in for maybe 10 seconds... and fouls another player! Well, as the other player was going up for 2 foul shots, Walton gets a technical. Kel and I thought it was so funny! We said that we could play NBA basketball better than that! Then... minutes after this, a player from the other team was about to go up for a shot under the basket... and Walton (at the top of the key) runs hard at the guy, the dude ducks, and Walton does this tumble over the other player and hits the ground on his side. Kelsey and I were about to pee our pants we were laughing so hard! And thanks to DVR we kept rewinding the wacko move and playing it in slow motion. We even tried to see what he was trying to do... and we could not come up with anything. Did not look like a block... looked more like Walton was playing football on a basketball court. haha If the other player did not duck, Walton would have tackled him! I love the Lakers... but ever since Walton's rookie year... I have not liked him!
During that time, we also got to go shopping with Sarah and Rachel at the mall. We had so much fun!!! Then eat at Panera Bread. I wish they had more than just one here in P'cola!
Kel and I also go to play basketball with some new friends, Mark and Sean. We had a blast! We meet at an outside court... and the first game it was Mark and myself vs. Kelsey and Sean. We won! =) Then it was girls vs. guys the rest of the time. I am proud to say that we beat them the first game... but they both say it was because they were going easy on us. Ha! ;)Kel and I were both making all our shots they just weren't blocking them! ;) haha The games after that they did beat us. Seeing how Mark figured how to block ALL my shots (which was not very hard for him haha) and he kept dunking over me. Glad Kel was making all her shots... since I was clearly unable to make any!!! =) We are hoping to play a lot more games!!! Sooooo glad we found people to play with!!! Basketball is just not very big here.
April 26th came, and Diego Alexander celebrated his 5th birthday! Dragon-style! haha (It was a "How to Train Your Dragon" party.)
And on April 27th, the metal things that were stuck on my teeth for almost 3 and a half years were taken off!!! =) Yes! My braces were removed!!! I am so happy!!! I am still needing work done... like my peg needs to be bonded and I need an implant. I'm a little short on the moola... but God will provide! He has been so faithful to me the past 2 months... it's been amazing!

Also in the last 2 weeks, God has really been speaking to me! It's crazy the different ways He does speak to us... for me most of the time, it's through my iPod. haha I guess because I have it on all the time! I love my music! ;)
But He does not just do it through one song... it's through many! And all about the same thing! I shared in my last update that He was showing me that even when I am in the middle of a storm... I can still praise Him! Like in Matt Redman's song "Blessed Be Your Name"... the bridge says "You give and take away. My heart will chose to say, Lord blessed be Your name"! I love that!
The last 2 weeks though, He has been showing me that it is ONLY by Him I am saved. It wasn't me!
Here are some songs that I have been listening to...
♫"You Alone Can Rescue" By Matt Redman
♫"It Was Your Grace" By Sovereign Grace Music

The part I love in It Was Your Grace is the first verse... "It was Your grace that drew me to the cross. It was Your grace that gave me faith. It was Your grace that reconciled me to Yourself. Though I had sinned in every way. You disarmed me of everything that I would lean on. So I would lean on You. And You stripped me of everything I would depend on. So I’d depend on You."
So many times has He disarmed me of things I was leaning on... and I wish I would have known it was Him trying to get my attention.... But He does things in His timing! He is good!!!

Oh! And Andrea only has 21 more days till her due date!!! Hurry, Sabrina! Hurry! haha

Ok, that's my update for April. haha
Hope you enjoyed reading! Please comment! I love reading yall's comments!!!
=)Brittany