♫Times♫

July? Oops! And it's now October....

Where to begin.... My life has been a bit crazy, most nights I get home from work, drink a cup of coffee, and crash. So what's new...???
So last weekend I went with Tammy and Katie to the VMI vs. Navy game. SO much fun! And since my whole family were out of town, on Sunday night I went with Tammy and Shaina to VMI to drop Caleb off. It was so good to see him that weekend! He's been greatly missed!

Since July, my family has "adopted" our friend Tj. He goes to Richmond U., which is less than 15 minutes from our house... so he often comes over for movie nights a few times a week. With a few late night runs to Taco Bell...

And most of you know that we moved into our new house... LOVE IT! It's so big, we can't yell down the hall to find someone. We actually have to call each other on our cell phones. And since we moved, Snuggs has been very vocal. He often sits at the top of the stairs calling for me... and once he hears where I'm at, he comes running. We've also been able to have people over! Finally! For Labor Day, we had around 50 people over for a BBQ. And we still had room! God is so good :)

Also, I began working at the church office full time in August, and I'm loving it! It makes my job a little easier now, in that I don't have to try to remember where I left off on Tuesday, when I come back in Thursday. When 5:00 rolls around on Tuesday, I know on Wednesday morning I'll be able to pick up where I left off. Due to being alone most of the time at work, I've started to have a daily goal. Kinda making a game out of it. For example, last week's goals were the following:
Tuesday - Have less than 10 emails in inbox before 5.
Wednesday - Have ALL Tuesday and Wednesday's todo's checked off by 5.
Thursday - Have less than 5 emails in inbox before 5.
Friday - check off EVERYTHING by 5.
This past week I got everything done... but the week before I "failed" one of my daily goals. And since it's like a game, I don't let it get to me. I just move that goal to the following day.

Also at work... Pandora is my friend :) I put on my Jeremy Camp radio station, and let it play. This has really helped me to be reminded of God's grace in my life throughout my day. Lately life has been a little down... and this has really kept my eyes on what life is all about. It's not about having a job, going to school, being in a relationship, etc... it's ALL about Him. Yes, life does have all those things, but we don't need to live for them; We need to live for Him who created us.

If you know me well, you know that I tend to get stuck on one song that I can really relate to in the season I'm going through. Right now, that song is "Times" by Tenth Avenue North. Though, the last verse has really been encouraging. They wrote it as if God is saying it to you. It says;

I hear You say,
"My love is over. It's underneath.
It's inside. It's in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.
The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '
The times you're broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends."

How true this is! He is there through our pain, through the storms we face, and He will never forsake us! This last week was really hard, and I really was tempted to slip into dispare. But I fought for joy! Well I should say, HE gave me the strength to fight for joy! I wrote this song in my journal a few weeks ago, and this past week I kept going back to it. Reminding myself that He is always here... He is never going to leave me... no matter what I'm going through.

Another thing that has really been cool to see, is that everything I've been reading... in my Bible, Morning and Evening, and even songs that have been on Pandora, there has been a theme; Wait for the Lord. Don't you love it when He does that? :) It's times like these that I know He is here with me. He's on my side. Even when I don't like the path He has set me on... He did it for a reason. And I'll be able to look back in a year or two, and see His faithful hand in it all. I love this verse in Psalm right now... which is my current memory verse; "Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!" (Psalm 27:14) Wait for the Lord!!!

♫As Long as You Are Glorified♫

Well... so ends another week... and without going into detail, it hasn't ended well. God seems to be ripping things out right from under my feet. Which is making it a lot harder to fight for joy. But when I woke up this morning, my dad was practicing for leading worship tomorrow morning, and the song he was playing when I woke was As Long as You Are Glorified by Sovereign Grace Music. The very thing I needed to wake up too.

Shall I take from Your hand Your blessings
Yet not welcome any pain
Shall I thank You for days of sunshine
Yet grumble in days of rain
Shall I love You in times of plenty
Then leave You in days of drought
Shall I trust when I reap a harvest
But when winter winds blow, then doubt

Oh let Your will be done in me
In Your love I will abide
Oh I long for nothing else as long
As You are glorified

Are You good only when I prosper
And true only when I’m filled
Are You King only when I’m carefree
And God only when I’m well
You are good when I’m poor and needy
You are true when I’m parched and dry
You still reign in the deepest valley
You’re still God in the darkest night

So quiet my restless heart
Quiet my restless heart
Quiet my restless heart in You

He is good when I'm poor and needy, and when I'm carefree. He's also good when I prosper, and when I'm parched and dry. Why would I doubt that? He has always remained faithful! And He always will. Why is it so hard to see that at times? 

But God didn't stop there with speaking truth to me. After listening to my dad sing, I started to read Psalm 115. "Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!" (115:1) I was then reminded of C.J.'s message at NEXT... "It's not about you, stupid." This life isn't about me! And I am gonna go through trials, but in the end, all that really matters, is that He is glorified. 

If you think of me, pray that I will continue to fight for joy through all this, and that I will continue to seek God, and not fall in dispare. He's got a plan for all this! "Oh let Your will be done in me! In your love I will abide. Oh I long for nothing else, as long as You are glorified!" 

♫Mercies Anew♫

Last weekend wasn't easy... what could have gone wrong, did go wrong you could say. And when times aren't easy, I don't sleep. Oh joy! Saturday night I was lying in my bed at 3:00am praying, and God really meet me as I laid there in silence. And then I heard a voice that was clear as day... "My mercies are new every morning." I know He is always here with us... but there seems to be times when you can really feel His presences. This was one of those moments. Every worry I had that night was gone. I was overwhelmed with His grace. What a feeling! And rather than focusing on the many situations that were floating in my head... I repeated over and over again Lamentations 3:22-23; "The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

I think I fell asleep in the middle of the verse, but when I woke up the next morning for church, I can't put what I felt into words, but I felt anew. Refreshed. Ready to take on what ever came my way!

Worship at church was AMAZING that morning. But it was all God! There was nothing special about the songs... or the music... I could just feel His presences. At one point, the band started to play Mercies Anew, and I knew right away what song it was and that I was going to loose it. Which I did. I closed my eyes and stood there listening to the words, and it was as if God was saying them to me right there. How comforting that was!

Every morning that breaks
There are mercies anew
Every breath that I take
Is your faithfulness proved
And at the end of each day
When my labors are through
I will sing of Your mercies anew

When I’ve fallen and strayed
There were mercies anew
For you sought me in love
And my heart you pursued
In the face of my sin
Lord, You never withdrew
So I sing of Your mercies anew

And Your mercies, they will never end
For ten thousand years they’ll remain
And when this world’s beauty has passed away
Your mercies will be unchanged

And when the storms swirl and rage
There are mercies anew
In affliction and pain
You will carry me through
And at the end of my days
When Your throne fills my view
I will sing of Your mercies anew
I will sing of Your mercies anew

I love that! "And when the storms swirl and rage, there are mercies anew. In affliction and pain, You will carry me through." Whatever we are going through, He will carry us through! He will never withdraw. There's no if and buts... not matter what, He will always remain faithful. I love what Tim Tebow says in his book Through My Eyes, "Through God's past faithfulness - that no matter what is on our plates, He will never leave us, and will help us handle whatever it is."And He won't! He's not going to send us down a road, and leave us to fend for ourselves. He will be there with us every step of the way! 

And what a way to start a new week. Things kept coming up... but I took on the challenge. I saw it as God teaching me to fight for joy through hard times. And when I needed a reminder, I just looked at these lyrics on my phone, and said it as a prayer. And how encouraging that was! I know I say this at the end of each post... but isn't He good? :) Thanks for reading! 

♫I Was There♫

This is a little different than my normal songs that I post about, but its a song that really means a lot to me at the moment. It's by my favorite artist since 2005, Josh Turner, from his CD he released last month, Punching Bag. I've actually listened to his CD since I bought it, over and over, and over again. But it wasn't till I was driving back from DC last Monday by myself, that the meaning of this song really hit me.

God was really meeting me as I was driving in the silence of my car, and after a while, I decided to put on some Josh Turner on shuffle. Little did I know, this song came on after I picked Everything Is Fine (which was the first song of my 62 songs). It something I have always been taught, ever since I can remember; He has always been, is, and always will be. He "is the same yesterday and today and forever." (Hebrews 13:8) Though I must say, it never hit me like it did in my Ford Focus on I-95. He truly is everywhere, with everyone. And He is most certainly here with me! And He is always there for me! I love what Josh says in the course, "I'm always around, I was then and I am now, and I'll be here when tomorrow comes. When a road comes to an end, I'm where you start again. I'm never farther than a word away." How comforting that was to me! Whatever God brings me through, whether it's a trail or an amazing season in life, He's always there. He was there when they landed on the moon... He has been with every president... ever king... at ever war... and He is most certainly there with you! He was there with me through basketball... He was there with me when I moved to Florida... He was there when I moved back to VA... and He is here with me now. He is always there! How great He is!  

I was there that night in Bethlehem

And when Neil and the boys came to the moon

In that tin can

At Gettysburg, Omaha Beach, and Vietnam

I heard every soldier's cry and every mama's prayer

I was there

I was there when you took your first breath

And when you lit that stolen Lucky Strike

And liked to choked to death

When you were waist deep in Carter's Creek

And Preacher John

Dunked you down in the water and raised you up for air

I was there

C:I'm always around

I was then and I am now

And I'll be here when tomorrow comes

When a road comes to an end

I'm where you start again

I'm never farther than a word away

You've always got a friend

When your grandma passed

I was in that house

And when your grandpa ran down the streets o' gold

To show her around

I was there

I was there last night on Highway 9

When you answered the phone

And ran right through that stop sign

I was in the cab of that big rig, in that trucker's ear

Made him swerve to the right and miss you by a hair

I was there

If you're feelin' alone, look up, I'm the One who answers prayers

And I'm always there

♫My Redeemer's Love♫

My Redeemer’s love is deeper
Than the depths of sin and hell
He who was enthroned in glory
Came to bring us to Himself
My Redeemer’s love is wider
Than the breach my sins had made
He reached down into my darkness
He alone has pow’r to save

Deeper than the rolling seas
Higher than the mountain peaks
Your love is all I need

My Redeemer’s love is stronger
Than my fiercest enemies
He will hold me in the tempest
Through the flood He carries me
My Redeemer’s love will lead me
Through the deepest valley here
He will shepherd me and guide me
He will ever keep me near

Deeper than the rolling seas
Higher than the mountain peaks
Your love is all I need
Stronger than the rushing wind
Shattering the power of sin
Your love is all I need

My Redeemer’s love grows sweeter
As eternity draws near
I’ll enjoy His love forever
At His throne for endless years
My Redeemer’s love will fill me
On the day I see His face
I will love Him back forever
And forever sing His praise

Have you ever been at the beach, and seen a 15 foot wave? Or have you ever stood at the bottom of a mountain, and tried to look up at the top? If you ever have seen these things, isn't it crazy to think that His love for you is bigger than that! 

Lately during my quite times, books I'm reading, and songs I've been listening too, are constantly reminding me of His never failing, steadfast love. 

I love it when He makes it clear what He wants to remind you. You hear about it all the time. And it's been neat to see that everything goes hand-in-hand with my current memory verse;

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:22-23) 

Then just the other day I was reading Psalm 106, and verse 1 said, "Praise the LORD! Oh give thanks to the Lord for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!" His steadfast love endures forever. His love grows sweeter as eternity draws near. Doesn't that just make you want to bust out in song? On the day I see His face, I will love Him back forever, and forever sing His praise!!! 

My hope is that I can continue to see His love through my daily life. That I'll be reminded of what He has done for me, and that I can give thanks for even the little things in my life. For He IS good! 

Who's In the House???

Sorry! I couldn't resist... it's now stuck in my head!!!

The Everything Became the Nothing

Since January, my Community Group has been going through Jesus + Nothing = Everything. Over Spring Break I was reading chapter 6, and wow, what a chapter I need to be reminded of daily! The chapter is called "News - The Biggest and Best", and Tchividjian is talking about how we really need to be aware of our sin in order to see the greatness of the gospel. I loved what he said in the closing. That whole last page in my book is pretty much underlined. He says;

"The more we reflect on the gospel, the more we let our hearts and minds soak in it, the more we see how the gospel is saturated with the dynamics of nothing and everything. This Jesus who is so infinitely everything -- this same Jesus "made himself nothing" (Phil 2:7) .... The Everything became nothing. Four our sake. On the cross, Jesus took upon himself our sin -- our corrupt, fatal nothingness -- then placed upon us his righteousness, his everythingness. It's what has been called "the glorious exchange." .... "In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him" (1 John 4:9). A restored relationship with God never happens by our climbing up to him; it happens only in Jesus, who came down to us. Grace is descending, one-way love! .... This vast gospel, in its fullness, is now ours to fully know, to fully experience, to fully embrace." 

What a glorious exchange! The moment I read that, I was about to jump out of my skin. He did that for me! He was everything, and became nothing, so that He might place His everything on me. I LOVE the song "We Have Been Healed" on the SGM Risen cd. 

"We have been healed, justified. Made alive in the life of Christ. Righteous blood covers every sin." It covers every sin. "Risen Lamb, heaven's light. Crucified and now alive. In Your love You have drawn us in .... All our sin for Your grace. What a glorious exchange."I'm speechless. And it's not cuz it's 2:00am. He did that for me. I was nothing. Nothing. On my way to hell. But He turned me around. All my sin for His grace. What a glorious exchange!!! 

♫O Great God♫

Lately, God has really been teaching me to trust in Him with my future... which seems to be a common lesson for me. But once again, He keeps showing me that He has control in the driver seat. One way is a book I am reading for my Theology class by John MacArthur called Found: God's Will. Find the Direction and Purpose God Wants for Your Life. A little book everyone should read at some point! And other ways through songs, scripture, and even through the little things in life.

Thursday morning I was really struggling, and a line from a song on Vally of Vision popped in my head, o great God of highest heaven, occupy my lowly heart. EGG! I had to listened to it on my iPod.  

O great God of highest heaven
Occupy my lowly heart
Own it all and reign supreme
Conquer every rebel power
Let no vice or sin remain
That resists Your holy war
You have loved and purchased me
Make me Yours forevermore

I was blinded by my sin
Had no ears to hear Your voice
Did not know Your love within
Had no taste for heaven’s joys
Then Your Spirit gave me life
Opened up Your Word to me
Through the gospel of Your Son
Gave me endless hope and peace

Help me now to live a life
That’s dependent on Your grace
Keep my heart and guard my soul
From the evils that I face
You are worthy to be praised
With my every thought and deed
O great God of highest heaven
Glorify Your Name through me

This is now my life prayer at the moment. Help me now to live a life, that's dependent of Your grace. Not what is here at the moment, not what lies ahead, but on Your grace alone! For You have a way! Your will be done! O great God, glorify Your name through me!

If you think of me, please pray that I will continue to look up, and not forward. That my heart will be occupied with His grace, and not my desires. 

♫Your Grace is Enough♫

Don't you wish you could just totally depend on God all the time? Where you had no questions in your mind on what lies ahead. No fear in your heart on the road that is at your feet. Where you could totally say, "God, you are in control, do Your will!" And that was the end of it. I know I do! But that's not how He does things. Because through those hard times, He wants to teach us to put our life totally in His hands. He is so kind though! He promises never to leave us!

Right now, my favorite song is by Chris Tomlin, Your Grace is Enough. 

Great is Your faithfulness, oh God
You wrestle with the sinner's heart
You lead us by still waters and to mercy
And nothing can keep us apart


So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise, oh God


Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me


Great is Your love and justice, God
You use the weak to lead the strong
You lead us in the song of Your salvation
And all Your people sing along


Yeah, Your grace is enough
Heaven reaching down to us
Your grace is enough for me


God, I see Your grace is enough
I'm covered in Your love
Your grace is enough for me, for me

Something I need to be reminded of daily. His grace is all we need! Funny thing is, I googled to see if there was a verse that went with this song, and the verse that came up was the very verse I have been memorizing! "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (2 Corinthians 12:9) 

What a God moment! Don't you feel God is speaking to you in those moments? When you are reading, or in my case, listening, and God keeps showing you things one after another that goes right along the same line. What peace that brings to my wondering heart!!! He leads us by still waters, and nothing can keep us apart! Your grace is enough for me!!!

Goodbye 2011

Well, here is my last post for 2011. I'm sure I say this at the end of every year.... but what a year it has been! Moving back to VA, finally starting college, working at KWCC, etc. It's been a good year, but hard at times. Life every year there are those ups and downs, but God continues to be faithful.
Something I have learned this year is that sports is not everything. This sport season has been a hard one for me with the Colts 2-13 and Auburn 7-5, along with the possibility until late of there being no NBA. God has really worked on my pride in this area. It always seemed that I had a team to brag on.... but not this year.

Another thing God has been teaching me lately is patients. I have never paid attention to this before, but most Christmas songs are all about falling in love! Not the best for a single girl like me. Rather than listening to non-stop Christmas music, I focused more on SGM cd Looked Upon. One song in particular, Thy Way, Not Mine.

Thy way, not mine, O Lord
However dark it be
Lead me by Thine own hand
Choose out the path for me, for me

Smooth let it be or rough
It will still be the best
Winding or straight, it leads
Right onward to Thy rest

C: I dare not choose my lot
I would not, if I might
Choose Thou for me, my God
So I can walk aright

Take Thou my cup, and it
With joy or sorrow fill
As best to Thee my seem
Choose Thou my good and ill

Not mine, not mine the choice
In all things great or small
Be Thou my guide, my strength
My wisdom and my all, my wisdom and my all

God has really given me a peace lately with being single, something that can only come from Him! As 2012 approaches, I'm praying that I can lean on Him as I go down the path He has set for me. I know it's gonna be smooth at times, and then rough... but He has made it good!

Happy New Year!

You Are EVERYTHING I Need

This is my new favorite song at the moment. With school starting up, I feel like I don't have time for anything else. To tell the truth, with other stuff plus school, I'm a bit stressed... and I'm not one to get stressed. Once again, I think God is really using this time in my life, as a working single and now college student, to put my trust in Him. It's not all about having a perfect grade... which at least I have an A in Humanities. He is everything I need! He is my strength in my weakness! 

2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

If you think of me, please pray for me during this time in my life. That I will trust God during this season He has me in! And also, that I can be able to see His grace through out my day. Because it's there! 

I'm Leaving My Fears Behind Me Now

Sorry I have been unable to blog. Life is busy, but not unbarable. And I have no excuse with why I should not be writing. I just have not been on the computer at all... thanks to my iPhone.
Since mom is working full time now, we are still moving in, and I have no job of my own yet, I have taken the job of holding down the fort. I have really enjoyed house keeping, and hope to do it if I get married one day. There is not one thing I found that I don't enjoy doing. I love cleaning, doing laundry, planning meals, grosery shopping, making dinner, etc. One thing I have found as I'm keeping the house, is how much my mom has done for us these 21 years. She has put up with a lot, and I find myself being more and more greatful for her, and what she has done! What a blessing she is to me, and an amazing rolemodle! I love you, mom!
I wish I could say it's been "easy breezy"... but it hasn't. I have not been content with life. Being at home all the time, and not having a job has been hard. And the worries of not having a job, no car, and no money coming in for bills has me a little uptight. I applied for Starbucks almost two weeks ago, and I'm still praying! It's right across from my mom's job, so it would be great for sharing the car.
At my community group a week ago, the ladies prayed for me for this very thing. Don't you love how God works? This past week, I had peace! It was amazing! Answer to prayer!
Last night we had worship night at church, and God was so amazing to work again!!! He spoke to me throught a few songs, both of which He has used many times in the last 8 months. God Moves and Completly Done.
They played God Moves first. He used the whole song to speak to me, but verse one stood out, and they played it several times.
God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm
Deep in His dark and hidden mines
With never-failing skill
He fashions all His bright designs
And works His sovereign will
"With never-failing skill, He fashions all His bright designs, and works His sovereign will!" At this point, I was overwelmed with His grace! Isn't He good? That verse in Isaiah kept popping in my head, (41:13) "For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, "Fear not, I am the one who helps you."
Right after this, what song did they play? Completly Done. I love this song, it's one of my favorite songs of all time. And just like the other, God used the whole song to speak to me. But verses one and two stood out.
What reason have I to doubt
Why would I dwell in fear
When all I have known is grace
My future in Christ is clear

 My sins have been paid in full
There’s no condemnation here
I live in the good of this
My Father has brought me near
I’m leaving my fears behind me now
"What reason have I to doubt?" He's got it all under control! Not me, and oh how I am thankful for that!
He was telling me to let go of my fears, He's got a plan!!! Isn't He amazing how he speaks to us? "I'm leaving my fears behind me now!" Or as my cousin Olivia use to say, "pe-pind". I'm leaving my fears pe-pind me now!!!!!!

♫Undying Love♫

As of last weekend (Easter weekend) I have been hooked on John Mayer... but I am also hooked on something totally different than John Mayer when it comes to music: Sovereign Grace. Very interesting mix, I know. Mayer and Sovereign Grace don't go... at all... but it's what I have been in the mood for. This post thought, I am not wanting to talk about John Mayer.
To go into a little more into detail, I've been listening to a lot of Sovereign Grace's cd Sons and Daughters (one of my favorites). Song #9 is called Undying Love, and this is the song I have on repeat. Here are the lyrics.

My ears had heard of You, now I have seen
This bitter sweetness in Your agony
My heart was far from You, but You drew me near
With loving kindness dried every tear

And I can see You
Bearing all my shame on the cross
I can hear You cry out, “It is done”
O Jesus, Your sacrifice was more than enough
In Your death I see undying love

My heart is broken and I’m down on my knees
To see my Savior suffering for me
But You descended, lifting me up
Washing my feet, filling my cup
It's a short song when it comes to the lyrics, but what a deep song it is! My heart overflows with joy everytime I hear it. And I'm not kidding when I say I have it on repeat.
My ears had heard of You, now I have seen! My heart was far from You, but You drew me near! Lately, and I'm not sure if it's cause of it being Easter season or not, but I've been very greatful for His work on the cross. On the way to Baton Rouge, I read Matthew 27:24-61, and started to get chocked up in the car. The part that I really got chocked up was Matthew 27:46 when Jesus says "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" It just really hit me, he did that for me! He took my place on the cross. How greatful I am because of it! "It is done"!!!! Isn't that something to sing about?
I've had conversations in the past where people have said, "it was such a horrible thing. How can it be happy?" Yes, I do agree, it was very horrible. Someone having nails drived into their hands and feet to a wooden cross, beaten, cut, peirced by a crown of thorns... and stay up there for hours. That's very horrible! But the good and wonderful thing about it is, he did it for me! He did it for you! And not only that, but he rose again! He defeated death! What an amazing thing that is! His sacrifice was more than enough!

♫I Can Only Imagine♫

I must confess, I haven't been listening to worship music at all lately... been listening to a lot of KJ-52 or Red.
But the last few weeks the course of I Can Only Imagine has been suck in my head. Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset I can't get it out of my head... it's an amzing reminder. "Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel. Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still. Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall. Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all." Man, just reading it, I'm tearing up. Surrounded by His glory! I can only imagine! Scratch that... I can't imagine what it's gonna be like. It's to much to grasp. Am I going to dance or be in awe? Am I gonna sing, or will I be able to speak? Will I even be able to stand? Or will I just fall on my knees? What a day that's gonna be!
Here are the rest of the lyrics to the song.
I can only imagine

What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You 

♫Beautiful You♫

I don't perfer the band Reilly, even though I've seen them live. But I love this song... a lot at the moment. Wonderful lyrics! The course goes "But there's a different plan for me, something better that I cannot see. And it can only be beautiful wherever you are. It's a wonderful world I see when you're in my eyes. I always lose sight of me when you're in my eyes. I never want to move I never want to find, that I've wasted all my time away from the beautiful you."
He truely is beautiful! And it is a wonderful world when He is in my eyes!

Preaching the Gospel to Yourself

Have you ever heard this phrase before? Growing up in a Sovereign Grace chruch, you hear it quite often. But what does it really mean? "Preaching the Gospel to yourself"? Well, think about it. Just because we are Christians, does that mean we don't need the Gospel?
I'll answer for you... yes, you do. We need to be reminded of what Christ did for us everyday! And if you are like me, with all the things going on in the day, you tend to forget.
C.J. Mahaney says in "Cross Centered Life" that we need to preach it to ourselves daily.
On the cd inspired by the little orange book, "Songs for the Cross Centered Life" by Sovereign Grace Music, the cd opens up with the song "the Gospel Song". Even tho it's just over 1 minute long, it tells the Gospel:
♫Holy God, in love, became
Perfect man to bear my blame
On the cross he took my sin
By his death I live again♫
I love that, "By his death I live again"! Isn't that an amazing thought?

Also in the book, C.J. Mahaney gives a few verses that you can memorize and use it to preach the Gospel daily. One that really stands out is Romans 5:6-11 (All scripture I have is from the ESV.)
"6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ
died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person -- though perhaps for a good person one would dare even die -- 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. 11 More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation."
Here are some others he gives;
- Isaiah 53:3-6
- Romans 3:23-26
- Romans 8:32-39
- 1 Corinthians 15:3-4
- 2 Corinthians 5:21
- Galatians 2:21
I'd encourage you to at least take one of these, and memorize it. I took the Romans 5:6-11, wrote it on index cards and have it on my wall. Keeps me reminded. I'm doing better than I don't deserve!

His Sovereign Will

As some of you know, I've been going thru a hard time the last few months. And I haven't been trusting God like I should. To tell the truth, I've been falling away from him. I feel beat up... mentally and physically, and even at times I feel numb, because of all that has happened really in the last year. I don't get stressed out very easily, but lately, I get stressed out about everything. Same thing that happened to me 2 years ago, when I was getting sick and they thought my appendix erupted, but then the doctors finally said it is probably stress. Well, that has been happening at night again. I haven't felt like myself at all lately.
When we were in VA, I was able to meet a friend for coffee Wednesday night and she was so encouraging! It was one of the best parts of the trip. She is such a dear friend! God really used her to get to my broken heart.
For the next few days I was able to see God at work again. I was able to pray again, and I felt like he was listing for the first time in a long time. And on Sunday, my family went to Kingsway, and how great it was to be with our church family again! It was so encouraging! And worship was amazing! God once again used the song God Moves. And when the first line was sung, I just broke down in tears. "God moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform." Wow! "He plants His footsteps in the sea, and rides upon the storm. Deep in His dark and hidden mines, with never-failing skill, He fashions all His bright designs, and works His sovereign will." Never-failing. I get a lump in my throat just thinking about it. And he fashions all his bright designs and works his sovereign will. Isn't he amazing? For the first time, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It seems like the storm is passing. I'm not sure how long it's gonna take, but it's starting to.I love the part in the 3rd verse, "The bud may have a bitter taste, but sweet will be the flower." Things are gonna be hard, he allows them to be, but in the end he has a perfect plan for it all.
A new year has began, and I don't know what I'm gonna do, where I'm gonna live, who I'm gonna marry, or what 2011 alone holds. But I do know one thing... he knows. And he is going to work his sovereign will!
I use to think, God has plan A and plan B. And if plan A didn't work, he always had plan B. That is all just a bunch of mumbo jumbo. He has 1 plan, a "bright design", his sovereign will! And he has known about it since the beginning of time. In verse 2 of the song, it says, "O fearful saints new courage take, the clouds that you now dread, are big with mercy and will break, in blassings on your head. Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, but trust Him for His grace. Behind a frowning providence, He hides a smiling face." A smilling face. See, he knows what's coming, and I can't wait to get there! But then again... he has his perfect timing. Let his will be done!

Thanksgiving #13

I am thankful for God's will. At times I don't like it, but I know he does things for my good. And this does not mean it's easy and fun... but he does things with my good in mind. Right now I don't know what he has for my life. It's hard... but he is at work. I'll post about this later... but I can see things he is starting to lay out for my life. It's hard, you can be praying for me.
But this morning I went to Kingsway with my grandparents, and it was so good. But one song during worship really spoke to me, God Moves by Sovereign Grace Music.

♫God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm
Deep in His dark and hidden mines
With never-failing skill
He fashions all His bright designs
And works His sovereign will

So God we trust in You
O God we trust in You

O fearful saints new courage take
The clouds that you now dread
Are big with mercy and will break
In blessings on your head
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense
But trust Him for His grace
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face

So God we trust in You
O God we trust in You
When tears are great
And comforts few
We hope in mercies ever new
We trust in You

God’s purposes will ripen fast
Unfolding every hour
The bud may have a bitter taste
But sweet will be the flower
Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain
God is His own interpreter
And He will make it plain

"The bud may have a bitter taste, but sweet will be the flower." I'm excited to see what he has for me. He is good!

Well, Colts are about to play.... gotta stop blogging. GO COLTS!

♫Out of the Depths♫

I wish I could listen to this without hurting....

Thanksgiving #4

I am thankful for the trials God brings into my life. At the moment, I am going thru another hard trial. They aren't fun. It seems like I have gone thru more trials than anyone else my age, but I'm sure that isn't true.
God uses trials to bring us closer to him, and all we need to do is trust him. But the only way we can trust him, is if he shows us we need him.
And this is harder said than done, I know, but speaking truth to yourself will help. One way I find to help with speaking truth to myself is writing in my journal or blogging.
The trial I am going thru at the moment, I can't see what God has for my life. I feel like my life is over, to tell the truth. But that's where trusting him comes in. If I knew what he had in store for my life, how could I worship him, how could I trust him?
He himself speaks to us in many ways. My sister on Saturday night texted me, blessed be his name, and once again I broke down. Sunday worship, the second song they did was Blessed Be His Name, and I broke down in church. I knew he was with me, and he will never leave. He gives, and he takes away, but I want to chose to say, "blessed be his name".
2 other songs I've been listening too aswell, Everyday by Sovereign Grace Music, along with Your Hands by JJ Heller.

Here are the lyrics to Your Hands
♫I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crooked lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands
Prayers right now will be great! One thing you can pray for is that I will stop crying. But also that I will keep my eyes focased on him above, that he will give me peace thru this hard time, along with my trip up to VA. The people I love encouraged me to get away from life, and take a trip up to VA to be with friends and family. I leave Monday and return the following Monday. Pray that the trip will be smooth.
God is good all the time! ~Jeremiah 29:11~