♫As Long as You Are Glorified♫

Well... so ends another week... and without going into detail, it hasn't ended well. God seems to be ripping things out right from under my feet. Which is making it a lot harder to fight for joy. But when I woke up this morning, my dad was practicing for leading worship tomorrow morning, and the song he was playing when I woke was As Long as You Are Glorified by Sovereign Grace Music. The very thing I needed to wake up too.

Shall I take from Your hand Your blessings
Yet not welcome any pain
Shall I thank You for days of sunshine
Yet grumble in days of rain
Shall I love You in times of plenty
Then leave You in days of drought
Shall I trust when I reap a harvest
But when winter winds blow, then doubt

Oh let Your will be done in me
In Your love I will abide
Oh I long for nothing else as long
As You are glorified

Are You good only when I prosper
And true only when I’m filled
Are You King only when I’m carefree
And God only when I’m well
You are good when I’m poor and needy
You are true when I’m parched and dry
You still reign in the deepest valley
You’re still God in the darkest night

So quiet my restless heart
Quiet my restless heart
Quiet my restless heart in You

He is good when I'm poor and needy, and when I'm carefree. He's also good when I prosper, and when I'm parched and dry. Why would I doubt that? He has always remained faithful! And He always will. Why is it so hard to see that at times? 

But God didn't stop there with speaking truth to me. After listening to my dad sing, I started to read Psalm 115. "Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!" (115:1) I was then reminded of C.J.'s message at NEXT... "It's not about you, stupid." This life isn't about me! And I am gonna go through trials, but in the end, all that really matters, is that He is glorified. 

If you think of me, pray that I will continue to fight for joy through all this, and that I will continue to seek God, and not fall in dispare. He's got a plan for all this! "Oh let Your will be done in me! In your love I will abide. Oh I long for nothing else, as long as You are glorified!" 

♫Mercies Anew♫

Last weekend wasn't easy... what could have gone wrong, did go wrong you could say. And when times aren't easy, I don't sleep. Oh joy! Saturday night I was lying in my bed at 3:00am praying, and God really meet me as I laid there in silence. And then I heard a voice that was clear as day... "My mercies are new every morning." I know He is always here with us... but there seems to be times when you can really feel His presences. This was one of those moments. Every worry I had that night was gone. I was overwhelmed with His grace. What a feeling! And rather than focusing on the many situations that were floating in my head... I repeated over and over again Lamentations 3:22-23; "The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

I think I fell asleep in the middle of the verse, but when I woke up the next morning for church, I can't put what I felt into words, but I felt anew. Refreshed. Ready to take on what ever came my way!

Worship at church was AMAZING that morning. But it was all God! There was nothing special about the songs... or the music... I could just feel His presences. At one point, the band started to play Mercies Anew, and I knew right away what song it was and that I was going to loose it. Which I did. I closed my eyes and stood there listening to the words, and it was as if God was saying them to me right there. How comforting that was!

Every morning that breaks
There are mercies anew
Every breath that I take
Is your faithfulness proved
And at the end of each day
When my labors are through
I will sing of Your mercies anew

When I’ve fallen and strayed
There were mercies anew
For you sought me in love
And my heart you pursued
In the face of my sin
Lord, You never withdrew
So I sing of Your mercies anew

And Your mercies, they will never end
For ten thousand years they’ll remain
And when this world’s beauty has passed away
Your mercies will be unchanged

And when the storms swirl and rage
There are mercies anew
In affliction and pain
You will carry me through
And at the end of my days
When Your throne fills my view
I will sing of Your mercies anew
I will sing of Your mercies anew

I love that! "And when the storms swirl and rage, there are mercies anew. In affliction and pain, You will carry me through." Whatever we are going through, He will carry us through! He will never withdraw. There's no if and buts... not matter what, He will always remain faithful. I love what Tim Tebow says in his book Through My Eyes, "Through God's past faithfulness - that no matter what is on our plates, He will never leave us, and will help us handle whatever it is."And He won't! He's not going to send us down a road, and leave us to fend for ourselves. He will be there with us every step of the way! 

And what a way to start a new week. Things kept coming up... but I took on the challenge. I saw it as God teaching me to fight for joy through hard times. And when I needed a reminder, I just looked at these lyrics on my phone, and said it as a prayer. And how encouraging that was! I know I say this at the end of each post... but isn't He good? :) Thanks for reading! 

♫I Was There♫

This is a little different than my normal songs that I post about, but its a song that really means a lot to me at the moment. It's by my favorite artist since 2005, Josh Turner, from his CD he released last month, Punching Bag. I've actually listened to his CD since I bought it, over and over, and over again. But it wasn't till I was driving back from DC last Monday by myself, that the meaning of this song really hit me.

God was really meeting me as I was driving in the silence of my car, and after a while, I decided to put on some Josh Turner on shuffle. Little did I know, this song came on after I picked Everything Is Fine (which was the first song of my 62 songs). It something I have always been taught, ever since I can remember; He has always been, is, and always will be. He "is the same yesterday and today and forever." (Hebrews 13:8) Though I must say, it never hit me like it did in my Ford Focus on I-95. He truly is everywhere, with everyone. And He is most certainly here with me! And He is always there for me! I love what Josh says in the course, "I'm always around, I was then and I am now, and I'll be here when tomorrow comes. When a road comes to an end, I'm where you start again. I'm never farther than a word away." How comforting that was to me! Whatever God brings me through, whether it's a trail or an amazing season in life, He's always there. He was there when they landed on the moon... He has been with every president... ever king... at ever war... and He is most certainly there with you! He was there with me through basketball... He was there with me when I moved to Florida... He was there when I moved back to VA... and He is here with me now. He is always there! How great He is!  

I was there that night in Bethlehem

And when Neil and the boys came to the moon

In that tin can

At Gettysburg, Omaha Beach, and Vietnam

I heard every soldier's cry and every mama's prayer

I was there

I was there when you took your first breath

And when you lit that stolen Lucky Strike

And liked to choked to death

When you were waist deep in Carter's Creek

And Preacher John

Dunked you down in the water and raised you up for air

I was there

C:I'm always around

I was then and I am now

And I'll be here when tomorrow comes

When a road comes to an end

I'm where you start again

I'm never farther than a word away

You've always got a friend

When your grandma passed

I was in that house

And when your grandpa ran down the streets o' gold

To show her around

I was there

I was there last night on Highway 9

When you answered the phone

And ran right through that stop sign

I was in the cab of that big rig, in that trucker's ear

Made him swerve to the right and miss you by a hair

I was there

If you're feelin' alone, look up, I'm the One who answers prayers

And I'm always there

A Simple Formula

I recently wrote my testimony out of what God has done in the last 6 years. And how encouraging it was reading it!!! God continued to show is steadfast love and faithfulness to me, even when I wanted nothing to do with Him. How great He is!!!

It's also encouraging to look back on what He has done, and be reminded of that, and know He will continue to provide. Something I think we can all fall short of... but how kind He is to remind us.

"And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace." John 1:16

I'm currently reading the book Wild Goose Chase. Katie so kindly shoved it in my hand and said I should read it.... little did I know it was something I needed to read right now! (Thanks friend :) )
But one part in it, Mark Batterson is talking about when we have a change geographically, it can change us spiritually. And he gave a simple formula for this;

Change of Place + Change of Pace = Change of Perspective

How true that was when God moved me to Florida. He moved me from what I had known since I was 7. I went from a life full of friends, basketball, and working... to not working, no friends, but lots of time with family (which I wouldn't have traded for anything!) And I truly believe with moving to Florida and not having a lot to do, God really used that in my life. He used that time to bring me closer to Him.

Isn't He great in how He changes our life, when at times we don't really want Him to... but He uses that for our good! How awesome He is!!!

My Very First and Last NEXT

There I go again... not blogging. And I have no excuse for it.

This past weekend, Josh, Kel and I made a trip down to Orlando, FL, for the NEXT Conference. Since we moved to Florida, I was unable to go these past years. So this was my first time, and my last, as it is the last NEXT Conference Sovereign Grace is doing.

The worship was AMAZING and so encouraging. One song in particularly was encouraging is the song off of the Gathering cd, Now Why This Fear.

Now why this fear and unbelief?
Has not the Father put to grief
His spotless Son for us?
And will the righteous Judge of men
Condemn me for that debt of sin
Now canceled at the cross?

Jesus, all my trust is in Your blood
Jesus, You’ve rescued us
Through Your great love

Complete atonement You have made
And by Your death have fully paid
The debt Your people owed
No wrath remains for us to face
We’re sheltered by Your saving grace
And sprinkled with Your blood

Be still my soul and know this peace
The merits of your great high priest
Have bought your liberty
Rely then on His precious blood
Don’t fear your banishment from God
Since Jesus sets you free

How sweet the sound of saving grace 

How sweet the sound of saving grace
Christ died for me

What a truth we need to be reminded of daily. Something I am ashamed to say I forget. Since our time at NEXT, I have caught myself singing in a whisper, "Jesus, all my trust is in Your blood." Then I think, "Why am I whispering?" Yeah, I don't have the greatest voice, an yes I do sing off key, but God doesn't care! Sheesh! So I'll begin to sing it loader. Because how sweet the sound of saving grace! He died for ME! At NEXT and even now, those lines almost bring me to tears. Isn't it sweet???

On top of the worship, the teaching was amazing as well! Jeff Purswell did a great job explaining that we are apart of something that is way bigger than us. He took us through the whole Bible from start to finish... and you know as a kid that the Bible is one big story, but you don't actually see it until it's presented in the way he did it (unless I didn't).

I also really enjoyed Kevin DeYoung's messages as well. His one on friendship was very provoking to me. God has given me so many wonderful, godly friendships since moving back to VA, and for which I am very thankful! But his message really got me thinking... am I a faithful friend? Do I go out of my way to see how a friend is doing, and just stop right there and pray for them? No. I was really convicted.

The last two messages I LOVED. Matt Chandler and C.J. Mahaney. Matt Chandler's message was very convicting to me. Honestly, at times I'm a shamed to say that I hid from being a Christian... because I want to seem "cool". I have no problem blaring Pitbull in my car, but I do have a problem with turning Chris Tomlin up. Why? I know it's my sin nature... but I hate that. I love the verse that Tebow had on his eye blacks once, "May I never boast except in the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ." (Galatians 6:14) He should be the one I boast in... not the world. One think that Matt Chandler said that keeps running through my mind is this; "When you present a 'cool' Jesus to our world, it's no longer the Jesus of the Bible, but a Jesus you created." What a convicting thought! Something I have never thought of before... it's not the same Jesus. Wow!

 C.J. has always been one of my favorite preachers (followed by Aaron Campbell :) ). So this was the one message I was most looking forward too. His message was on the Church and Disappointment. He encouraged everyone to think of things that you find disappointing in your church and things that you see God at work. I have to confess that for a while there, C.J. lost my attention. I listed many things that I found God at work in KingsWay... but I couldn't find anything I was "disappointed" with. And after talking to my dad when I got home, I realized that after going to different churches in Florida, there were so many things we were without, that it makes us so much more thankful we are back here at KingsWay. The worship, the teaching, the pastors, the friendships and fellowship... everything! What a gift from God it is to me! And a job too!!! What an E.G.G. (Evidence of God's Grace).

Something else C.J. said got my attention. One is to never bring books on your honeymoon :). haha No. He shared a story of a pastor that was meeting with a man from his church. And the man was complaining about the things that he didn't like in the church... the worship, the teaching, etc. And the pastor who was meeting with this man leans forward and gave the man a 5 word antidote for this complaining. "It's not about you, stupid." Man! I couldn't find anything I was disappointed about KingsWay... but how I so often forget that this life isn't about me! It's not! There is only one who my life is about. And his name starts with a J and a C. So tell me who's in the house! J! C! (Sorry, I couldn't help myself. haha That's what you get for growing up in the early '90s I guess... :) ).

It's not about you, stupid! Those five short, little words are so grounded in truth. It's not about me, or you, but about Him who created us!!!

Sorry for this rather long post... and that I haven't posted in a while, but that's what God has been so graciously working on in my life. It's not about trying to be "cool", and it's not about me! But it's about Jesus, and all my trust needs to be in His blood.

Thanks for reading! :)

Isn't He Faithful?

God is so faithful! I've been driving since I was 16.... just like every teenager. But unlike most teenagers, I  was unable to buy my own car. After time and time again getting so close to finally getting one, that just wasn't in God's plan. 

When I got home from community group a week ago, I decided to look on Craig's List to see what they had car wise. And there, at the top of the list was a 2003 Ford Focus (my "realistic" dream car since who knows how long, along with my dream car the Mini Cooper). Red, in amazing condition! I freaked! 

Dad took me that Saturday to go look at it... and I knew that was gonna be a bad idea. I was trying sooooo hard to contain myself. It was in even in more amazing condition from the pictures online. And it made it worse when I found out that it got near 30 mpg in the city. 

Sunday we were gonna go back, but since dad got sick we were unable to. I was pretty bummed, but I kept telling myself tat if it was the car God wanted me to have, it would still be there on Monday waiting for me. 

Sure enough, Monday afternoon, there it was. The Red Focus. And hours later, I was pulling my dream car into my drive way. God is so good! I love it! It's the perfect car for me... and t didn't help that I got an amazing deal on it. I am so totally blessed! As my good friend Lydia says, "God totally loves me!" I've waited so long to have one of my own, and He blessed me with one of my dream cars. He is so totally faithful!!!

Morning and Evening: April 6

Spurgeon said on April 6th;

"You cannot grown in grace to any high degree while you are conformed to the world. The life of separation may be a path of sorrow, but it is the highway of safety; and though the separated life may be painful and make every day a battle, yet it is a happy life after all. No joy can excel that of the soldier of Christ; Jesus reveals Himself so graciously and gives such sweet refreshment that the warrior feels more calm and peace in his daily strife than others in their hours of rest."

One of my most favorite things to do is to look back on my past. Through all the hardship I've been through the last years, I love that I can look back and see His hand in it all. What a comfort that is to me! I can see where He took something away from me, then after a time, He brought something similar along that was even better! Even though He took that away too, I know that He will bring something even better than that was. 

I hear people say all the time, "Oh, God's going to provide something even better that what you had." But the thing is, they can say it and not believe it. But I've seen it personally... He's done it in my own life... I know He can do it! 

My life has been a battle, but I would not change it for anything! Through all the hard, He has brought so much happiness in my life. Because of Him, I can look back on my past with a smile. He is in control! And how sweet that is! 

The Everything Became the Nothing

Since January, my Community Group has been going through Jesus + Nothing = Everything. Over Spring Break I was reading chapter 6, and wow, what a chapter I need to be reminded of daily! The chapter is called "News - The Biggest and Best", and Tchividjian is talking about how we really need to be aware of our sin in order to see the greatness of the gospel. I loved what he said in the closing. That whole last page in my book is pretty much underlined. He says;

"The more we reflect on the gospel, the more we let our hearts and minds soak in it, the more we see how the gospel is saturated with the dynamics of nothing and everything. This Jesus who is so infinitely everything -- this same Jesus "made himself nothing" (Phil 2:7) .... The Everything became nothing. Four our sake. On the cross, Jesus took upon himself our sin -- our corrupt, fatal nothingness -- then placed upon us his righteousness, his everythingness. It's what has been called "the glorious exchange." .... "In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him" (1 John 4:9). A restored relationship with God never happens by our climbing up to him; it happens only in Jesus, who came down to us. Grace is descending, one-way love! .... This vast gospel, in its fullness, is now ours to fully know, to fully experience, to fully embrace." 

What a glorious exchange! The moment I read that, I was about to jump out of my skin. He did that for me! He was everything, and became nothing, so that He might place His everything on me. I LOVE the song "We Have Been Healed" on the SGM Risen cd. 

"We have been healed, justified. Made alive in the life of Christ. Righteous blood covers every sin." It covers every sin. "Risen Lamb, heaven's light. Crucified and now alive. In Your love You have drawn us in .... All our sin for Your grace. What a glorious exchange."I'm speechless. And it's not cuz it's 2:00am. He did that for me. I was nothing. Nothing. On my way to hell. But He turned me around. All my sin for His grace. What a glorious exchange!!! 

Keep Moving!

Like I mentioned a few posts ago, I have been reading an amazing book for my Theology class called, Found: God's Will. Find the Direction and Purpose God Wants for Your Life by John MacArthur. An amazing little book! It was definitely a gift from God in this time in my life! Throughout the book, MacArthur tells us that in order for us to know God's will we must be saved, Spirit-filled, sanctified, submissive, suffering, and to do whatever you want.
I loved the whole book, but chapters 6 and 7 I really enjoyed. 6 was on suffering. MacArthur says,
"In the will of God, greatness follows along behind suffering, often far behind. And if a man signs on with Jesus with greatness in mind, he better be aware that suffering comes first. Otherwise, the will of God may begin to look pretty undesirable to him after he's been on the way a short time..... You may say, "But I don't suffer any persecution." Then maybe you're not living a godly life in the face of the world. But if you do suffer, it is a wonderful thing. The Spirit of grace and glory rest on you (1 Peter 4:14)."
To me that is such a comfort. At times, I feel like I have struggled way more than anyone else my age... I look at my siblings, and they seem to be living a "perfect" life. None of us have a "perfect" life. I realize that God used those times to teach me, to challenge me. "Suffering is linked with faith", MacArthur said. I wish I would have been walking in the light during those dessert times... but I hate to say I wasn't. And I wish I could say those suffering times are over. But they aren't. I did fall from God during those times in '07-'10... but what's different from then to now, is that now I'm walking in the light. Now, God has given me a hope, peace, and has opened my eyes to truth. I'm able to see Him at work, when during those 3 years, I couldn't. I still suffer. But God uses these times to make me stronger.

In chapter 7, keep moving (do whatever you want), is the last principle MacArthur talks about in knowing God's will. He says;
"So many people sit around waiting for that celestial crane to move them and saying, "I don't know what God wants me to do." They need to start moving so God can steer them to that area of service He has planned. Knowing God's will may mean pushing down a narrow line until you hit a dead end. At that point, God will open a door so wide, you won't be able to see around it - only through it!... You may bounce off a lot of closed doors but that is God's way of forcing you into His open one. Get rolling! Be persistent."
Keep moving! When suffering comes, don't stop! God is good, and I'm pretty sure He knows what is best for you.
It's sweet how God does things! Chapter 7 led me to my new memory verse, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." (ESV) What a great God He is!

♫O Great God♫

Lately, God has really been teaching me to trust in Him with my future... which seems to be a common lesson for me. But once again, He keeps showing me that He has control in the driver seat. One way is a book I am reading for my Theology class by John MacArthur called Found: God's Will. Find the Direction and Purpose God Wants for Your Life. A little book everyone should read at some point! And other ways through songs, scripture, and even through the little things in life.

Thursday morning I was really struggling, and a line from a song on Vally of Vision popped in my head, o great God of highest heaven, occupy my lowly heart. EGG! I had to listened to it on my iPod.  

O great God of highest heaven
Occupy my lowly heart
Own it all and reign supreme
Conquer every rebel power
Let no vice or sin remain
That resists Your holy war
You have loved and purchased me
Make me Yours forevermore

I was blinded by my sin
Had no ears to hear Your voice
Did not know Your love within
Had no taste for heaven’s joys
Then Your Spirit gave me life
Opened up Your Word to me
Through the gospel of Your Son
Gave me endless hope and peace

Help me now to live a life
That’s dependent on Your grace
Keep my heart and guard my soul
From the evils that I face
You are worthy to be praised
With my every thought and deed
O great God of highest heaven
Glorify Your Name through me

This is now my life prayer at the moment. Help me now to live a life, that's dependent of Your grace. Not what is here at the moment, not what lies ahead, but on Your grace alone! For You have a way! Your will be done! O great God, glorify Your name through me!

If you think of me, please pray that I will continue to look up, and not forward. That my heart will be occupied with His grace, and not my desires. 

"Through My Eyes"

For Christmas, my grandmother, GG, gave me Tim Tebow's book Through My Eyes. What an amazing book! It's so encouraging that through all his hard life, he never lost faith in what God was doing with his life. As I was reading the chapter on his college decision, one paragraph really stuck with me. He says;

"People often seem to think that when you're following the Lord and trying to do His will, your path will always be clear, the decisions smooth and easy, and life will be lived happily ever after and all that. Sometimes that may be true, but I've found that more often, it's not. The muddled decisions still seem muddled, bad things still happen to believers, and great things can happen to nonbelievers. When it comes to making our decisions, the key that God is concerned with is that we are trusting and seeking Him. God's desire is for us to align our lives with His Word and His will." 

How true this is! So many Christians believe that the Christian faith is a fair tale, that God is going to bless you with goodness. Yes, that is true... but that's not what the Christian faith is all about. I know this from my own life, God brings us through trials to bring us closer to Him. Money would be nice, I'm not gonna lie, or a brand new car, but what is even sweeter is to have a relationship with Christ! He wants us to wait on Him, to follow Him, and to live our lives to glorify Him. Something I hope to grow in in the future.

Spurgeon says, "It does not matter how heavy troubles are if you can cast them on the Lord." What a comfort to know He is in the driver seat, and not me!

(And no I did not name by blog after his book. My name I came up with in Florida way before his book was published!)

Psalm 103

I have been going through Psalms for well over a year now. I haven't been reading it once a day like I planned... but as I have gone through it, God has shown me He had a plan for me going through the Psalms. Every time I sit down to have quite time.... sometimes I read the Psalm where I left off, or another passage God has lead me to. But it never fails. The passage I read was what God wanted me to read for that day! Don't you love it when He does that? I feel as if He is speaking to me right there in person. When He does that, through out my day I am reminded that He cares for me. I know I need to feel that everyday... but I don't.

This morning, as I sat down for my quite time, I read Psalm 103 (ESV). And again, God clearly wanted me to read it for this day! Also, the Morning and Evening I read for today, was right on the same line! God's steadfast love.

"Bless the Lord, O my soul,
and all that is within me, bless his holy name!
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
The Lord works righteousness
and justice for all who are oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses,
his acts to the people of Israel.
The Lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He will not always chide,
nor will he keep his anger forever.
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heaves are about the earth,
so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far does he remove our transgressions from us.
As a father shows compassion to his children,
so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.
For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust.
As for man, his days are like grass;
he flourishes like a flower of the field;
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone,
and its place knows it no more.
But the steadfast love of the Lord is from
everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
and his righteousness to children's children,
to those who keep his covenant
and remember to do his commandments.
The Lord has established his throne in the heavens,
and his kingdom rules over all.
Bless the Lord, O you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his word,
obeying the voice of his word!
Bless the Lord, all his hosts,
his ministers, who do his will!
Bless the Lord, all his works,
in all places of his dominion.
Bless the Lord, O my soul!"

Ways You Don't Expect

I love it when God shows you things when it couldn't have been more perfect. What an awesome way He shows us He cares for us! 

Monday was my first day back to school. And rather than starting my day in the books, I started it with Spurgeon's Morning and Evening. The devotion for January 16 was titled I Am the One Who Helps You, Declares the Lord. I couldn't help but smile! This was the devotion for the day I start school? It felt as if God was speaking the words right to me! 

Spurgeon says, "This morning let us hear the Lord Jesus speak to each one of us: "I will help you.""It is but a small thing for Me, your God, to help you. Consider what I have done already. What! Not help you? Why, I bought you with My blood. What! Not help you? It is the least thing I will do for you; I have done more, and will do more. Before the world began I chose you. I made the covenant for you. I laid aside My glory and became a man for you; I gave up My life for you; and if I did all this, I will surely help you now. In helping you, I am giving you what I have bought for you already. If you had need of a thousand times as much help, I would give it to you; you require little compared with what I am ready to give. It is much for you to need, but it is nothing for me to bestow. Help you? Fear not! If there were an ant at the door of your granary asking for help, it would not ruin you to give him a handful of your wheat; and you are nothing but a tiny insect at the door of My all-sufficiency. I will help you."

He helped us in the most desperate time in our lives, why would He not help us now? Why would He leave us to fend for ourselves? He wouldn't! He isn't! One of my all-time favorite verses says, "For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who says to you. "Fear not, I am the one who helps you." (Isaiah 41:13). He's right here with us, He is helping us run this race.

It's only by His grace, but I have a totally different perspective going into this new semester. I can't explain it, but I have this peace I haven't had yet with school. I'm not overwhelmed, I'm not questioning if this is what I'm suppose to be doing. I got home late today from work... did I finish all that was on my schedule for school today? Nope. And I'm ok with that. Because I know His grace is sufficient! He is going to help us!!!! What a great God He is!!!!

Morning & Evening

One of my wonderful gifts this Christmas from my parents was Charles Spurgeon's book Morning and Evening. As I was reading it tonight, one part stood out, which I would love to share with you.

January 6 - Evening
"That glorious right hand that molded the world can renew my mind; the unwearied hand that bears the earth's huge pillars can sustain my spirit; the loving hand that encloses all the saints can cherish me; and the mighty hand that breaks in pieces the enemy can subdue my sins. Why should I not feel that hand touching me this evening? Come, my soul, address God with the potent plea that Jesus' hands were pierced for your redemption, and you shall surely feel that same hand upon you that once touched Daniel and set him upon his knees that he might see visions of God."

Isn't that a crazy thought? Just think about that. The same God who created the heavens and the earth cares for me! He cares for you! The very God that walked with Adam and Eve in the garden, cares for you! The very God that flooded the whole earth, cares for you! The very God that holds the universe in His hands cares for you! What an amazing thought!
"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows." (Luke 12:6-7)
If He cares for the sparrows of the sky, why should He not care for you? Like one of my favorite Sovereign Grace songs says, "Yesterday, today and forever, You are the same, You never change." And how true that is!!! And even though you may feel beat down, and that no one cares for you, I've been there too... and the truth is, someone does care for you. And even though it doesn't look like good to you, most of the time He's trying to teach us something. Scratch that... He is always teaching us something. Persevere! You are doing better than you deserve!

No More Bio!!!! Woo hoo!

Sorry I have not been posting this term... Biology was a killer! I knew this going into the class as they tell you on the phone, "You do know this is our hardest course?" I really do now! It was a challenge for sure! One reason was the course... they had you read sections from the material, and then have questions that were not even related on the test. Then my group for our discussion board, did not really act like a team. There were 4 of them that would do the work themselves and post it days before it was even due. Our teacher on numerous times emailed and mentioned on our DB that we need to work together as a team, and that it was not due till Monday. Did they listen? Nope! They posted without the team still. At that point, I gave up working with them, and posted what I needed to post. And my teacher was gracious enough to give me 100% on those!

This was a major struggle for me, as last term I was making all A's, and this time I was failing. My other class, Apologetics, I was pretty much winging, since Bio was taking up most of my time during the week.  Other than my teacher grading poorly for my spelling on most of my papers, I scored almost 100 on everything else. It was perfect that I was taking these two classes together. I felt like I was being tested on my knowledge of the gospel, God, and Christianity, everything I have been taught by my dad and at KingsWay.

I hate to say that during this term, I was not trusting God like I should have been. I was taking things into my own hands. 6 weeks into the 8, that began to change. I didn't care what the outcome was... I left it up to God. I was still failing Bio, and had a B in Apolo, but I left it up to Him! I turned on worship music for everything... studying and tests. This helped me to focus on Him rather than taking things into my own hands.
All the way up to the last day of Bio, I had an F. But by the grace of God, my teacher graded on a curve due to most of the students failing!!! I passed the class!!!! But not only that, I made a C!!! What a gift from God! All I wanted was to pass the class.... He is so kind! My other class I made a B, and that's ok with me!

So what else has been new? Well... I will be playing soccer again in January. Which I am totally thrilled about! Also, this past Sunday, my friend Kristen and I went to get our noses pierced. What an experience that was! Going to a tattoo parlor was an experience alone.... Then there was a chance I could pass out like the last time I got something pierced. I was trying to stay calm. I didn't want to pass out... and Kristen was slightly freaking out. After much waiting, panicking, numbing cream, and anticipation, we finally did it!

Well, I know I say this a lot... But I hope to be blogging again... and a lot more often.
Merry Christmas!!!!

Thanksgiving #2

Oops. I totally forgot about blogging! My biology class is killing! But I'll be sure to set an alarm on my iPhone to blog!

Today I am thankful for God's never failing, faithfulness. Yesterday marks one year to the day God turned my whole world around. He had other plans for me. At the time I was heartbroken, I thought my world was literally over. But as I look back on the year, He is always faithful! To think that if He didn't change the plans, I wouldn't have moved with my family back to Virginia. I wouldn't be back here with my friends and church family. And also, I wouldn't have the lessons I learned on this hard road He has taken me down.
I think of the verse in 1 Peter. "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."(5:10)
It's only by His grace that I can say that through this past year I did suffer, but through that suffering He restored and strengthened me. And for that I am so thankful!

It's Been A Long Time....

Woooooooow! It's been over a month since I last posted. And I have no good reason to give to you, my readers, why I have not been posting. I have just been slacking.

Not much has happened in the last month, other than school, a trip to Pennsylvania, work, things going on at church, lots of hang out time with friends, and my 21st birthday.

I finished my first term of school this past week! Total EGG that I finished with an A!!! What a blessing that was! My next classes start on Monday, so please keep me in your prayers.

I have never been passed Maryland before, so it was a neat experience to travel north. We visited some old friends of my grandma's, who lived on the side of the mountain. On top of great fellowship, and lot of laughs, we had a time of worship which was so cool! We then traveled to the Amish country. What a different world they live in! I also saw a chocolate lab puppy. I so want one now!!! haha We had a blast having our first vacation with GG and Don. Next northern trip.... New York... here I come!!!

Can I just say that I love my church? I think I go to the best church ever! What a blessing it has been to be back at the church I grew up in? I was at my desk the other day, thinking... all these people I work with, I have known sense I was 8 years old. How cool is that? I bet most of you can't say that! haha At the moment I am doing our membership class, which I have really enjoyed. It's difficult being there at 8:30 in the morning before church, but it's been great refreshing on what we believe. Along with the singles community group, I am doing a book study on Hinds' Feet on High Places with some single girls in our church. If you have not read this book, I would encourage you to do so. I can totally relate with Much Afraid on so many levels. I'll try to get on here tomorrow to blog about the chapter that really stood out.

Saturday was my 21st birthday. All day I saw EGG's. I was so blessed. One way I saw how blessed I am, was my family I am surrounded by. Sorry everyone, but I have the best family in the world! And I'm not being biased. They are a gift from God! And after a wonderful day, He topped it off with a win for Auburn vs. Florida, and 100% on my test. I would say, this was my best birthday yet.

In closing, I'd like to share this verse.
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trails of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." -James 1:2-4

You Are EVERYTHING I Need

This is my new favorite song at the moment. With school starting up, I feel like I don't have time for anything else. To tell the truth, with other stuff plus school, I'm a bit stressed... and I'm not one to get stressed. Once again, I think God is really using this time in my life, as a working single and now college student, to put my trust in Him. It's not all about having a perfect grade... which at least I have an A in Humanities. He is everything I need! He is my strength in my weakness! 

2 Corinthians 12:9 says, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

If you think of me, please pray for me during this time in my life. That I will trust God during this season He has me in! And also, that I can be able to see His grace through out my day. Because it's there! 

Psalms 90

I am making my way through Psalms... still. And last week I read chapter 90, From Everlasting to Everlasting. I loved it and thought I would share it. I really loved the verse 2. "Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, for everlasting to everlasting you are God." He amazing is so amazing!!!

"Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations.
Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
You return man to dust and say, "Return, O children of man!"
For a thousand years in your sight are but as yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night.
You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream, like grass that is renewed in the morning:
in the morning it flourishes and is renewed; in the evening it fades and withers.
For we are brought to an end by your anger; by your wrath we are dismayed.
You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence.
For all our days pass away under your wrath; we bring our years to an end like a sigh.
The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away.
Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath according to the fear of you?
So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.
Return, O LORD! How long? Have pity on your servants!
Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.
Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil.
Let your work be shown to your servants, and your glorious power to their children.
Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!"

The outside "J"

Along with I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Crazy Love for small group and school, I am reading Game Day For the Glory of God by Stephen Altrogge.  If you don't know who Stephen Altrogge is, he is one of many Sovereign Grace's songwriter and well known songwriter, Mark Altrogge's son. I follow Stephen on Twitter, and really enjoy reading his daily tweets. Anytime I want a good laugh, I can count on Stephen Altrogge! Such as today this is what he said: @stephenaltrogge - For a moment today I thought I was beholding the glory of an angel. Then I realized that it was the brilliance of my dad's white legs.
I could go on and on about the things he tweets... but I'm sure you are wondering what this has to do with the title of this post. So, if you have a Twitter, you should follow Stephen Altrogge, or if not... get one to follow him. He's the best!
Now, on to the book.
In chapter two he was talking about where we get our talent. He uses MJ a lot (which I am not to fond of) as an example. "Michael Jordan's astonishing abilities were given to him by the Maker of all things. He didn't earn them, nor did he do anything to deserve them. They were generous gifts from a generous God. Similarly, any athleticism that you possess has been given to you by God as a gift." And how true that is! Yet, we don't seem to think about it at all. At least I didn't when I played basketball or soccer. The fact that I was able to bend my knees, lock onto the goal, and use my arms to shoot and make the basket, was not me! Nor was running at a rapid speed, toward a goal and goalie, and kicking my feet to make a goal. It was God giving me the gift of talent! What a gift I wish I had been thankful for!
Later he says; "Consider the simple act of shooting a basketball. Have you ever considered all that occurs in that second it takes to shoot the ball? First, the body must be positioned so that it's facing the basketball hoop. Then the brain must make a split-second judgment to determine trajectory needed to get the ball into the hoop. The brain then determines how much arm strength and hand movement are needed to get the ball moving toward the basket. Things become increasingly complex as more variables, such as a leaping defender, are thrown into the mix. All this takes place in the blink of an eye. A fadeaway jump-shot is truly amazing." There is a form to the perfect shot, I learned it on one of the many DVD's I would watch during my non-practice times. And even now, I can pick up a ball, and know exactly how to "fix" my shot if I'm off. But the way he describes this... is amazing! I have never heard it put that way, and I think knowing already what goes into a jump-shot, on top of this, is amazing! This is not something that was formed by goo, or from monkeys, or from a big bang. It's to much detail, it can only be from God! And what a gift such as sports, he has given us!
"If we receive such intense pleasure from sports, what must the One who invented all sports be like? If we receive such joy from watching Michael Jordan play basketball, what must the God who gave Michael his incredible talents be like?" I'm not a MJ fan (at all!!!), but I think about watching Peyton Manning, Lebron James, Dwayne Wade, Cam Newton, Blake Griffin, Dwight Freeney, Tim Tebow... those guys that my heart starts to pound every time they do something amazing, what must God be like? He gave Peyton Manning the arm to throw a ball across 100 years, what must He be like? He gave Blake Griffin the strength to dunk over three defenders and make the basket, what must He be like? He gave Cam Newton the ability to run and break through 11 guys and make a touchdown time and time again, what must He be like? He gave Lebron James the power to pull a fadeaway feet behind the 3 point and get the ball into a whole that is no bigger than 2 feet wide, what must He be like? I can only imagine! How great is our God!!!