♫All I Have Is Christ♫

We sang this song during worship this morning... and the lyrics were amazing! I really got choked up as we were singing. I love the part when it says "And if You had not loved me first, I would refuse You still". WOW!!! Really the whole song is amazing!!! Isn't He so good?!

♫I once was lost in darkest night

Yet thought I knew the way
The sin that promised joy and life
Had led me to the grave
I had no hope that You would own
A rebel to Your will
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still

But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace

Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life

Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me
Oh Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You

By Jordan Kauflin

What is God's direction?

Hey blog readers,
Please keep me in your prayers!!! I'm very lost at the moment!
Last week, my dad had a talk with me. About life. I told him I was not sure if I wanted to go to college.... He challenged me, that if I'm not going to college, I need to get a "plan" together. What I'm going to do instead....

Life is so hard! I've been praying... LOTS, that God would make the plan He has for me at this moment clear. One thing keeps coming up... but I'm trying to be careful about it. Making sure it's not my heart telling me this... because as some of you know... my heart has been wrong before! And it was really neat, last week my mom shared with me that scripture says "the heart is deceitful above all else!" I can totally relate!

But please pray for me! I'm not exactly sure what He has for me. Whether I don't go to college or I do. If so, where do I go? Do I go away or stay here? Do I move back to VA? I don't want to... but is that His plan for me? Also, my desire is to get married young... but is that His plan? Or, is it something else...?
He has a plan for me!!! He says so in His Word! Jeremiah 29:11. It's time for that next step! =)

Change of plans?...

Life is hard! I'm learning that more and more, day by day. As a kid, you dream of when you are an adult, life will be so easy. HAHA NOT! I'm a planner! So, even in high school... I had my college life planned out! I was told I would get a basketball scholarship... I was hoping to go to UVA, get a business or sports related degree... get married after college, and start a family.
Things started changing right before I started my senior year of high school. Things came up, and I ended up not playing basketball my last year. I had looked forward to playing senior year my whole basketball "career"! To me... that... was... BIG! To be announced as a starting senior before a game was, ah, just to cool! Because of this, I was so stressed out, I got physically ill. Was not trusting God with it at all!
Fall of 2008, my parents began to talk about moving back to Pensacola, Florida. Moving back was never apart of my plan in life! I never wanted to move back here! So, when my parents said they were moving... I was planning on staying and living with my grandparents (which I had been doing 3 days a week already). God once again changed my plans!
Clearly I am here in P'cola... and I am so glad I moved.
But once again, God is changing my plans. At the end of January, I was really praying about what God wanted me to do in college. Doing Liberty University Online, and get a accounting degree was clear.
The last 2 weeks though, I have been uneasy about it all. Is God's plan for me to really go to college... at all?
Also... God has put it on my heart to be a wife and a mother. And I know some moms who went to college, got married, started having kids, never used their college degree... and are still paying for the loans. I'm not 100% sure I will get married... or even when... but it's just a thought....
Please pray for me! I'm feeling very lost in this area. Along with the pressure of everyone asking, "So what are you wanting to do in college?" That's not what life is about, right... to go to college?
As well as, pray that God would give me wisdom! What I need to do right now... what is His plan for me?

Starbucks-aholic

As most of you know (if not all) I love coffee... in particular, Starbucks Coffee. There has only been one drink from this company that I cannot drink! (the Pumpkin Spice Latte if you must know.) But my all time favorite is the classic Mocha Frappuccino. Mmmm, so good! =)

Well, the reason for this post, is not to go on and on about what I love. But to ask yall to pray for me!!!
Wednesday night we had care group, and we were talking about what we are passionate about. My dad was talking about how C.J. Mahaney had mentioned in a message that if he had 30 minutes to look at your check book, he could tell you what you are passionate about. Whether it be shoes, music, sports, etc. During the meeting, I was very convicted... just thinking to myself "what do I spend the most money on?" It did not take long till I thought Starbucks!
This week  alone I have bought 2 Mocha Fraps! And they are now $5! NOT FAIR! But do the math! haha That's $10 I have spent on coffee! Sooooo, I have concluded that I am going to buy one a month (if that!). Now that is not one drink a month... if ya want to get me a drink, please feel free! heehee ;) But that is me buying one! Please pray for me! It's so easy to run in to a Starbucks and get a drink. And it does not help that there is one in our Target... or that others have drive-thru!
It really get's ya thinking... "What am I passionate about?" There is always something you have a passion for. I wish I could say for myself it was the gospel... the Good News! But I hate to say it isn't!
Pray that I would have self control in this area... and God would use this to help me grow more passionate about the gospel, and not a silly coffee drink! As well as keeping me accountable! =)

The Evil Mr. Roach

Soooooooo, Wednesday night we had small group (which was very good and very convicting!) And when I got home, a friend of mine started chatting with me. (You know who you are! ;) It was a great chat!!!) Buuuuuut, as we were talking, about something rather important, a roach comes out from under my bed, and freaks me out!!!! I scream as loud as I can and freeze. (And this story is not made up either! Ask my family!) I'm not lying!!! I froze! I could not bring myself to grabbing a flip flop (which I have many!) and killing this thing! I couldn't! Josh comes running in asking what happened. I told him there was a roach... and he left! I was telling the friend everything that was happening! haha They said they could come over and kill it for me, because my brother was not willing to. (Honestly I think he was scared of it too! haha)
Seeing how I was unable to move and shaking at the sight of a roach less than 5 feet away from me, was told to stop screaming... dad was trying to sleep, and my own, over 6 feet tall brother was not going to kill it for me, I was left with no choice! (heehee) No, I asked the friend to get my mind of the roach, and he did! (Thanks, Mark! ;) ) haha Till we got off at 2:30 (sadly =( ) and I turned to face the floor from once the thing ran. After a few minutes, I finally brought myself together and took one step on the hard wood floor, and ran for my brother. He then came back in my room once more and helped me move everything! And when I say everything... I mean everything! haha
By 3:30am, my room looked like a tornado came through it, I was about to pass out of exhaustion, he was feeling like he was going to pass out because of his blood sugar, and the roach was no where to be found.
I ended up sleeping on the couch for 4 hours... 'cause I could sleep no more with smell of coffee brewing, and the noise of dad leaving for work. =( And I did tell myself the roach was GONE! haha
Well, the bright side! I did "spring cleaning" and threw a lot away! Woo hoo! I'm weird... I know!

Don't Waste It!

At the moment, I am reading "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper. I have finally gotten past the first chapter!!! haha As I was starting to read the second, I prayed that I could understand Piper (because every book I have EVER read of his goes right over my head!) God really helped me!!! It was very cool!!! I understood! But there was a paragraph that really stood out to me. Here it is...

"God created me--and you--to live with a single, all-embracing, all-transforming passion-namely, a passion to glorify God by enjoying and displaying his supreme excellence in all the spheres of life. Enjoying and displaying are both crucial. If we try to display the excellence of God without joy in it, we will display a shell of hypocrisy and create scorn or legalism. But if we claim to enjoy his excellence and do not display it for others to see and admire, we deceive ourselves, because the mark of God-enthralled joy is to overflow and expand by extending itself into the hearts of others. The wasted life is the life without a passion for the supremacy of God in all things for the joy of all peoples."

WOW! Well said Piper!!! =)

Robin Hood

So yesterday, Mark and I were talking at church... and he said he was going to see Robin Hood, and invited us to go with. I talked to my dad and he said sure, that we would try to make it. We still had 40 minutes to make it back home, drop off mom, Diego and Lili, unload the van, and turn right back around. But someone in our family (cough Kelsey cough) did not want to leave mom alone. (SHE DOES THIS EVERY TIME! Don't know what's going to happen when she get's married! haha) So we get there... around 10 minutes before it's starts... Mark saved us seats... dad get's up to the ticket booth... AND THEY ARE SOLD OUT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! =( He ended up getting tickets for a later showing, but I really wanted to see it with Mark!
So we ended up going to Guitar Center (whip-de-do! NOT! haha). Kelsey, dad and Josh were drolling! haha... Me on the other hand, well let's just say that only thing about music I know is my iPod and Guitar Hero. haha But the 3 of us were talking, and when the 3 of us get talking... we have some very weird conversations! haha Kelsey was talking about how Guitar Center is her heaven... Josh said his is Bass Pro Shop... and mine is Dick's Sporting Goods! haha... it's amazing, how we all come from the same family, but are so different!
Well, it was time for us to be heading over to Rave, and when we did, we were the first in the theater!!! Got seats right in the middle!!! It was sweet! =D
The movie was really good, I thought! My family on the other hand thought it was to slow. Yes, it was slow, but it had some humor, pretty good action scenes (wish there was a little more), a great love story on how Robin and Marian meet, and Russlle Crowe!!!! haha But it wasn't your typically Robin Hood story... and that's all I'll say! haha You'll have to see it for yourself!

15 minutes after we get out, Mark texted me. Come to find out... HE SAT BY HIMSELF! I felt soooooooooo bad! =( But he was very sweet about it, and said he was glad we got to see it. =) I guess there are lots more movies we can try to see together!

(In my last blog, I did movie review, and I would like to do that again! So here is #1! =))

♫As Long As You Are Glorified♫

This is an amazing song from the Sovereign Grace cd "Come Weary Saints".
How many times do I praise Him who created me in times of plenty... but not in times of drought? In EVERYTHING I do, I hope I glorify Him!!!

♫Shall I take from Your hand Your blessings

Yet not welcome any pain

Shall I thank You for days of sunshine

Yet grumble in days of rain

Shall I love You in times of plenty

Then leave You in days of drought

Shall I trust when I reap a harvest

But when winter winds blow, then doubt

Oh let Your will be done in me

In Your love I will abide

Oh I long for nothing else as long

As You are glorified

Are You good only when I prosper

And true only when I’m filled

Are You King only when I’m carefree

And God only when I’m well

You are good when I’m poor and needy

You are true when I’m parched and dry

You still reign in the deepest valley

You’re still God in the darkest night

Written by Mark Altrogge

"Better Than I Deserve"

So I have FINALLY finished "The Cross Centered Life" by C.J. Mahaney. I have lost count how many times I have started reading that book, and have never finished. I started reading it again at the end of December... and today, I finished it! haha (I am a slow reader at times!)

It is a short book, seven chapters... and it is written by one of my favorite writers. Very easy to read! I would encourage you to read it!

But as I was reading the last chapter, I came to the section named "Better Than I Deserve". Growing up in a Sovereign Grace church, I have grown up with this saying all my life! I love it! And I have always wanted to say it to people, but always forget!

This is what C.J. Mahaney has to say about it in the book,
"Ask me how I'm doing on any given day and you might be surprised by my response. I don't give the typical "I'm doing great" or "Fine, thanks!" Instead I say, "Better than I deserve." It catches people off guard. Many times non-Christians have argued with me, convinced that I suffer from low self-esteem.
But no -- I just understand who I am and where I deserve to be. I deserve God's wrath. Honestly, I deserve to be in hell. But instead I'm God's child. I'm forgiven and loved by Him. I'm going to heaven. I'm doing much better than I deserve!
That perspective fills me with joy even on days when things aren't going as I planned. We all face disappointments and difficult circumstances. Some of us experience deep pain and loss. But regardless of the situation, understanding the gospel lets us marvel at God's love."

Short story... but when I started to read this again in December, a friend started chatting with me on Gmail. They asked how I was doing, and I replied, "Better than I deserve!" After a few seconds, they responded with asking what I meant by that. I simply told them, I don't deserve to be forgiven! I deserve the wrath of God... and deserve to be sent to hell. But by the grace of God, He sent His Son to die in my place! That friend did argue with me, and told me that I probably should not go around telling people that. I am ashamed now that I listened to them!

So go ahead! Ask me today... how am I doing? I'm doing better than I deserve! =)

His Blood

I know I just posted... but both of these things have been on my mind to share. So I am! =)

We have often (well I know I have, since I grew up in a Sovereign Grace church!) heard people talk about Jesus dying for us. Heard people use the terms, His blood washed away our sins. Heard it in songs time and time again. But have you ever stopped to think about that? I think for people like me, who have grown up in the church all their lives, sometimes don't really stop to think about things such as this.
Yesterday, I was reading "When Sinners Say 'I Do'" since our church is going through it together. (Which is a great book! And I will post soon on what I think about that! haha) But in the first chapter Dave Harvey is talking about our sin, the gospel, and marriage (haha)... . And at one part he says, "There really is no end to the glories of the gospel, which is why we will spend eternity marveling that the Holy God would choose to crush his only Son for the sake of sinful man. The gospel explains our most obvious and basic problem - sin has separated us from God and from each other. Thus we are objects of God's wrath. A Christian understands the necessity of the cross; our sin was so bad it required blood, the blood of God, to take it away! Without the cross we are at war with God, and he is at war with us."
I have heard this a thousand times... over and over and over again! But for some reason reading that one paragraph... it made more since than any other time!!! WOW! I almost started crying when I read it.... My sin was sooooo bad it required blood. Christ's blood! I'm chocked up just typing it! HOW AMAZING!!!!!! =)